Unpacking the Will Smith-Chris Rock debacle

If you think Chris Rock made a “human” error of judgement, then so did Will Smith.

You probably already know what this article will be about considering recent happenings followed by the uproar on social media, but in case you don’t, allow me to enlighten you.

On March 27, 2022, at the Academy Awards, comedian Chris Rock took a jab at actor Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, making a joke about her shaved head. His exact words were:

“Jada, I love ya. GI Jane 2, can’t wait to see ya”.

The camera zoomed in to show Jada rolling her eyes, her face showing plainly that she did not appreciate Rock’s joke, followed by Will getting onstage to smack Rock, after which the comedian continued to make light of the situation while Will returned to his seat, visibly furious saying (twice):

“Keep my wife’s name out your f****ing mouth!”

Now, in case you think this was just a “joke” between celebrities, let me also back track a little to inform you that Jada has been suffering from Alopecia for the last couple of years and she recently opened up about her struggle. Alopecia is an autoimmune disorder (meaning it is incurable) which results in hair loss to the point of baldness.

The interaction obviously went viral and, of course, people are divided in their stance, the two sides being: “Will was absolutely right to stand for his wife, and Rock is a moron”, and “Rock was just joking, and Will lost his sh** unnecessarily”.

I have seen more support for the latter honestly, but my question, or rather questions, to you are:

Isn’t violence physical, mental and emotional?

Do we not teach our kids to be kind in actions and words?

Isn’t it inappropriate to ridicule someone for their physical features?

I am really hoping you’ll say “yes” to these questions and that this will make you realise that yes, Will should not have smacked Rock…BUT Rock should not have said what he said in the first place.

However, if your answer is “no” or if your answer is “yes”, but you still think Will was in the wrong while Rock was “only” joking, let me break it down for you.

While many of us think of violence as physical only, words can sometimes have the power to break people more than physical acts of violence. Research shows that people who are subjected to verbal violence (think of an adult towering over a child and screaming at them) can be as traumatised, if not more, as compared to those who face physical abuse.

As Gautama Buddha once said,

“The tongue is like a sharp knife. It kills without drawing blood.”

Coming back to the Jada-Will-Rock debacle, you may argue that many women shave their heads these days out of choice and while that may be true, it still does not make it okay for someone to joke about it, especially since many women with shaved heads suffer from cancer and/or alopecia or other illnesses – something that is not in their control and is devastating on multiple levels already. So giving the benefit of the doubt and keeping your mouth shut would be highly recommended, should you see a woman with a shaved head. Secondly, Jada is a celebrity as is Rock, and celebrity lives are an open book, so to say. Hence, Rock must have known that Jada suffers from Alopecia and yet, he CHOSE to take a jab at her. – at such a big event like the Oscars. And that is extremely insensitive.

Thirdly, Jada has been open about her struggle with hair loss and that just proves that Rock either doesn’t know his fellow celebs or chooses to be callous ‘just because he is a comedian’.

And that fourth point is KEY. We often make jokes about people’s physical attributes to engage with others, to get attention or, like in Rock’s case, to actually get a few laughs. We all do it. Think of that friend who is a bit overweight (in your opinion). Or that one who is a tad short (in your opinion). Or even the one who is too tall (in your opinion). I say “your opinion” in parentheses because that is YOUR opinion. People come in ALL shapes, sizes and colours, and the sooner we get that, the better the world can be for everyone.

But I digress.

My point is that just because Rock happens to be a comedian, is it okay for him to make a crack about someone’s physical attributes, something that is not in the person’s control and that too at an event like the Oscars? That’s not violating someone? But Will losing his composure and standing up for his wife is?

Of course, Will should have kept his cool and addressed Rock through words and not actions. But if you think Rock made a “human” error of judgement, then so did Will. If you are going to excuse Rock for his distasteful “joke”, then you need to excuse Will for his equally “human” error of landing a punch at Rock in front of the entire world.

Because what we saw at the Oscars was a confident, glamorous lady rocking her shaved head. But we do not know how long it took for her to get there. To be that glitzy and comfortable in her new look (or even just look comfortable faking it). We do not know what happens behind closed doors. We do not know if she was bawling her eyes out and refusing to attend the Oscars before she stood up, donned her dress, lathered on makeup to hide the brokenness and stood tall, shaved head and all, at the event. Because that is what people are taught. To minimise their own existence and stand strong against the world. They are told,

“Don’t let the bullies get to you.”

“She didn’t know better.”

“He didn’t mean it.”

“It was just a joke.”

It is high time we addressed the bullies instead with:

“That was very insensitive of you. Please don’t say that again.”

“We don’t comment on people’s physical appearances.”

“It isn’t funny. It is rude.”

It is high time we stopped people from being mean and callous instead of counselling those facing their meanness and callousness for being “so sensitive”.

It is high time we called people out for physical violence while also calling out the emotional bullies. Those who get excused time and again for making people feel bad “because they were just kidding”.

Perhaps, then we won’t have people smacking others at the Oscars.